Copyright © 2008 apostate arminian ministries
Copyright © 2008 apostate arminian ministries
A Defense for Family-
By David Block
In all activities of life, we are called to “do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). This is the key to having a successful life and to the function of a successful ministry. A ministry that is not focused on the glorification of God as its primary goal is a failure, no matter the number of people in attendance or their satisfaction with the church. The Bible is clear that God is to be glorified in our ministering to others and even in our everyday mundane tasks. God is glorified in our ministries when we make sure that Christ is preeminent in everything we do (Colossians 1:18). Jesus bought each and every individual Christian with his own blood; therefore, he must be given the recognition he is due as Head of the church. A ministry that doesn’t actively place Christ first is one rooted in sin.
With these two guidelines in place, the glorification of God and Christ’s preeminence,
the main objective of ministry becomes apparent. Every minister of the church is
commanded to equip God’s people for service and to present them mature in Christ
(Ephesians 4:11-
Over the last century, ministry to the children of our churches has gone through
a period of continual flux. With the birth of the modern youth ministry movement
in the late 1800’s, ministering to youth has taken a radical shift from what it once
was. These days with technology increasing by leaps and bounds, our ability to
communicate to each other has also been amplified. With our capacity to burn our
own DVD’s or CD’s and the internet we can spread the Gospel around the world quickly
and easily. Even the classic leather bound Bible has been transformed into a colorful
magazine-
1. Three out of five teens would call themselves committed Christians yet only half of those would say that they have made a personal commitment to Christ that is still important to them and that they believe that they would go to heaven based solely on their confession and faith in Christ.
2. Only 26% of teens claim that they are absolutely committed to the Christian faith.
3. Only 4% of American teens could be classified as evangelical Christians (those that believe in all of the basic teachings of the Bible).
4. When teens were asked what they would want most in their future the majority ranked strong relationships and financial comfort as the highest while religious ideas ranked in the bottom third.
5. Though six out of ten teens currently attend worship services, an average higher than adults, when asked if they planned to continue attending after they were out on their own, only one out of every three said they would.
6. The majority of people that drop out of church are between the ages of 18 and 25.
7. When it comes to moral absolute truths only 4% of non-
Let us put all of these statistics into a perspective that is more meaningful than
just the bare numbers. If we were to apply these stats to an average high school
of 2000 kids the numbers become a lot more surprising and despairing. In our example
school of 2000, it would contain 1200 students that would call themselves committed
Christians. Out of those students only 600 would be considered by their responses
as born-
It should be obvious now that our super-
If you quickly skim through the Bible looking for the topic of teaching children, one thing becomes crystal clear: parents are commanded to teach their children about sin. In Deuteronomy we find this command concerning the Law of God repeated twice: “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (Deuteronomy 6:7; 11:19). Again we find in Deuteronomy a similar command to “Take to heart all the words by which I am warning you today, that you may command them to your children, that they may be careful to do all the words of this law” (Deuteronomy 32:46). Moses was clearly teaching the importance of the law and showing the Israelite parents that they had a responsibility to teach their children all of the law. The teaching was to be constant and ongoing. Every instance of life was to be used as an opportunity to teach the children the law and the debt of sin that came from breaking that law.
In addition, not only was the law to be taught to children but all of the deeds of
God were to be relayed to the younger generation by their parents. Joel 1:3 says
“Tell your children of it, and let your children tell their children, and their children
to another generation.” In Psalm 78:4-
We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children.
Parents are not only called to teach their children about the law and sin but also of the marvelous deeds that God has done in their lives and the lives of their forefathers.
If you are thinking that these commands only apply to those parents under the Old Testament then consider this: there are several passages that mention parents teaching children in the New Testament including Ephesians 6:4, which says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Paul encourages fathers to do their job as father not by pestering his kids, but by disciplining them and instructing them in the Lord. Likewise, mothers have a call from the Apostle,
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to
much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their
husbands and children, to be self-
The mothers, like the fathers, are to train the young women in the Lord so that his word is not abhorred. The coming of Christ did not absolve parents of their position as teacher; to the contrary, he added more material to the teacher’s manual. Now we have more explanation as to who God is. We have a greater knowledge of the law and the depth of our sin. We have the knowledge of many more miraculous deeds of which to tell our children. If anything, Christ raised the bar on teaching to a whole new level.
The idea that parents are the most influential teachers to children is definitely
biblical; but it is also recognized in our world today. Almost all, 96% of parents
of children under the age of 13 believe that they have the primary responsibility
of teaching their children core values. Likewise, 85% of parents say that they have
the primary responsibility to teach religious beliefs and spiritual matters to their
children.2 Parents do understand their importance in their child’s life, the problem
is that they aren’t doing anything with that power. The percentages of adults and
those that they know that actually act on this knowledge is disturbing. Teaching
shared values, respect for cultural differences of others and encouraging success
in schoolwork are the top three things that adults seem to be teaching children.
But the highest rated action (encouraging success in school) is only at 68%. The
stats get worse from there. As you can imagine, teaching religious beliefs ranks
low on the list at 28%.3 Parents actually realize that they have a responsibility
and the power to teach their children; however, the figures tell the story -
Most parents, when it comes to teaching, use the worst case scenario approach. They feel that as long as they keep their kids from getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant, keep them from using drugs, keep them in school and get them to graduate, that they have succeeded in teaching and raising their kids right. Some parents might add to their list things like paying for their college education or buying them a car, but for most parents they feel that just keeping them alive and out of jail is their sole responsibility in parenthood. However, this is completely missing the point of what the Bible is saying. Parents are required to train their children in all things, not just prevent them from destroying their lives. Parents are the ultimate source of teaching for their children.
After studying these Bible verses and stats on teaching, it would seem that all we would have to do is help our parents to teach their kids and then our youth groups would be filled with mature Christians and our outreach programs would bring thousands of kids to a real relationship with Jesus. This would be so if the responsibility of parents began and ended with teaching, but it doesn’t. Parents are held accountable to God on a much deeper and important level.
1. In Exodus 34:7 we find that God keeps “steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children's children, to the third and the fourth generation.”
2. The same idea is found in Psalm 37:28. “For the Lord loves justice; he will not forsake his saints. They are preserved forever, but the children of the wicked shall be cut off.”
As you can plainly see, the children of those that follow God are blessed by him.
This is great news for the children of the devout in our churches. However, the
opposite is true for those that do not follow God. For those parents that just drop
their kids off at church and don’t have a relationship with the Lord, their children
are already “cut off”. Their children and maybe even their great-
With this great responsibility of parenthood comes the possibility of great rewards
and miserable failures in the church. The church makes the greatest impact on unbelieving
youth and families, when the families within the church are strong, biblical, and
spiritually growing. Over the years, churches that have had a poor family dynamic
have resorted to marketing the church. In fact, many churches today use the strategies
and techniques that corporate America uses to get new customers! This is a dangerous
place to go, for Paul says, “For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's word,
but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in
Christ” (2 Corinthians 2:17). Many of the youth ministries in our country have chosen
to go the way of the peddler; instead of speaking in Christ in the sight of God.
However, if families are strong, if parents are living out their Christian life,
if children are honoring their parents, if they are growing in faith and if the rest
of the members of the church are helping the parents to fulfill their role -
However, the church, like the rest of our society, is failing in training our children
because we have chosen to isolate them. This isolation is probably the single most
damaging thing to the maturity of our youth. We see this in growing abundance in
our society. Our school systems have traded the process of maturation for efficiency
in teaching . Students are grouped by age and then ability so that they never have
the opportunity to interact with those that are more or less mature then they are.
They barely even receive any adult contact because they are continually rotating
teachers and miss the opportunity to actually connect with one of them. Along with
the isolation in our schools, our neighborhoods have begun to shrink down to single
residences. Block parties and neighborhood welcoming committees are becoming a fixture
of nostalgia. In fact, a majority of people in America have never even met their
next door neighbor. Social activities have become age specific and the thought of
an adult joining in with a teen in some activity has become a joke for both. We
might assume that our society would indulge in this self-
The church has become, hopefully unwittingly, champions for the isolation movement.
The church is full of youth groups where kids come together to socialize with each
other and maybe, just maybe, they get the opportunity to relate to an adult. Many
of the cross-
Our ministries to our youth and children have become an amputated limb of the body of Christ. We do not expect that if our arm is cut off, it will carry on completing the same tasks as it did when it was attached to the rest of our body. Our arm needs the rest of our body in order to be of any use. Our children cannot be isolated from their families and still be expected to mature into a strong Christian with a mature faith. Likewise, we cannot expect our youth ministries to be biblically successful when it is not fully integrated into the body of Christ. As Christ himself has said, “there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Corinthians 12:25,26).
Unfortunately, many churches have strayed from the family-
First of all, to have a family-
1. We need classes that train our parents on how to teach their kids.
2. Our church needs to make sure that the parents know all of the basics of the faith and can clearly relate them to the younger generation.
3. We need classes that bring adults and teenstogether to learn how to relate to each other and how they can work together for the spiritual benefit of all.
4. We need every age, from seniors to college students, working with the youth. Where the parents are absent, the rest of the body must step in. The church needs surrogate spiritual parents that will constantly interact with these kids. Part of the church’s responsibility is to facilitate those relationships with programming that allows, or forces, them to be together.
5. Cross-
Our view of youth ministry must change. Our programming ideas ought not be based on getting as many kids in the building and having a lot of fun. A fun time is great; but, it should never be at the expense of the Bible. The youth ministry needs volunteers that are well trained in the Bible, who are committed to each child’s spiritual maturity and are not just there for socialization. They need classes of their own, so that they might learn how best to serve the youth. In addition, churches in America need to prayerfully consider those they hire as ministers to our children and youth. Douglas Wilson rightfully describes what usually happens in our churches. “A young man, who never really wanted to graduate from high school himself, gets hired as a youth minister. His task is to put together a wild and crazy time down at the church, with perhaps a little inspirational message attached..”4 Instead of looking for some attractive, young, charismatic, fun person we need to turn to the Bible for the criterion the we should use:
Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-
As you can see, funny and super excitable are not on the list. Unfortunately, many of America’s youth ministers don’t fit what the Bible has demanded, which is to our own detriment.
Finally, the church needs to turn to and surrender herself to the mercy and grace of God. We need his mercy because we have been failing for so long that we are in danger of having our lampstand removed.5 We need mercy because we will continue to fail; but, with His help we can press forward into greater obedience. We need His grace because it is only by Him that we can change. It is only by grace that some day some of us will be able to stand in front of our Father in heaven with all of our family beside us as we enter into our eternal rest. May He make it so.
Supporting Biblical Passages
GUIDING PRINCIPALS FOR ALL MINISTRIES
1 Corinthians 10:31
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
Col. 1:18
And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent.
MAIN GOAL IN MINISTRY
Colossians 1:28-
Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.
PARENTS RESPONSIBILITY IN TEACHING
Deuteronomy 4:9, 10
"Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your
eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make
them known to your children and your children's children-
Deuteronomy 6:7
You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Deuteronomy 11:19
You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Deuteronomy 32:46
he said to them, “Take to heart all the words by which I am warning you today, that you may command them to your children, that they may be careful to do all the words of this law.
Joel 1:3
Tell your children of it, and let your children tell their children, and their children to another generation.
Psalm 78:4-
We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children,
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Isaiah 28:10
For it is precept upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little, there a little."
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Titus 2:3-
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to
much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their
husbands and children, to be self-
THE ACCOUNTABILITY OF PARENTS TO THEIR CHILDREN
Genesis 18:19
For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice, so that the LORD may bring to Abraham what he has promised him."
Exodus 20:5
You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me,
Exodus 34:7
keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children's children, to the third and the fourth generation.”
Psalm 37:28
For the Lord loves justice; he will not forsake his saints. They are preserved forever, but the children of the wicked shall be cut off.
Psalm 103:17
But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children's children,
Proverbs 14:26
In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge.
Proverbs 20:7
The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him!
Proverbs 23:24-
The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.
Lamentations 5:7
Our fathers sinned, and are no more; and we bear their iniquities.
Ezekiel 16:44
"Behold, everyone who uses proverbs will use this proverb about you: 'Like mother, like daughter.'
Ezekiel 16:45
You are the daughter of your mother, who loathed her husband and her children; and you are the sister of your sisters, who loathed their husbands and their children. Your mother was a Hittite and your father an Amorite.
1 Timothy 3:4
He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?
1 Timothy 3:12
Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well.
2 Timothy 1:5
I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.
Titus 1:6
if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.
FAMILY AND PARENTHOOD EXEMPLIFIED
Genesis 35:2
So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, "Put away the foreign gods that are among you and purify yourselves and change your garments.
Genesis 50:17-
'Say to Joseph, Please forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you.' And now, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father." Joseph wept when they spoke to him. His brothers also came and fell down before him and said, "Behold, we are your servants." But Joseph said to them, "Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones." Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.
Joshua 24:15
And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."
Job 1:5
And when the days of the feast had run their course, Job would send and consecrate them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, "It may be that my children have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts." Thus Job did continually.
Acts 10:2
a devout man who feared God with all his household, gave alms generously to the people, and prayed continually to God.
Acts 16:15
And after she was baptized, and her household as well, she urged us, saying, "If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come to my house and stay." And she prevailed upon us.
Acts 16:31-
And they said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household." And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds; and he was baptized at once, he and all his family. Then he brought them up into his house and set food before them. And he rejoiced along with his entire household that he had believed in God.
Matthew 18:21, 22
Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.
1 Corinthians 16:19
The churches of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Prisca, together with the church in their house, send you hearty greetings in the Lord.
1The Barna Group Ltd., Teenagers Embrace Religion but Are Not Excited About Christianity (Ventura, CA, 2000).
2Barna
3Search Institute
4Wilson, Douglas, Mother Kirk (Moscow, ID: Cannon Press, 2001), p. 220.
5Read Revelation 2:5 and then see if you can find the church of Ephesus today.
